This month in trying: May edition
Libraries, coyotes and margaritas
Hi friend,
Welcome to This Month in Trying, where I reflect on how my optimism project is going. Each month, I’ll be sharing a loose and honest round-up of what I’ve been up to—what I’m proud of, what I’m still attempting, and what I’m learning (or unlearning) along the way.
It’s part journal, part check-in, and part invitation to reflect on your own month of trying—whatever that looks like for you.
I hope you’ll join me in celebrating the wins (no matter how small) and holding space for the messier stuff, too.
Wherever you are, friend, I hope you’re well.
Emma xx
What I’m proud of
This month, I changed the name of my Substack.
On the surface, maybe that doesn’t sound so scary. But I’d spent several months ruminating on exactly what I stand for.
When I first joined Substack, I thought I’d write about cancer a lot because… Well, I had cancer. But after writing a few cancer pieces (that I’m also proud of!) I realised I was no longer in a stage of my life where I felt drawn to write about it. This isn’t to say I’ll never write about it again. Cancer and grief will always be a part of my story.
But after some soul-searching, I’ve realised what fascinates me is happiness. Specifically, how our relationship with happiness changes after trauma.
I feel I must be honest with you. I’m not always happy. Is anyone? It would be completely unnatural to be in a state of perpetual bliss. But no matter what life throws at me, I’m always attempting to be happier. I suspect you are, too.
What I’m still attempting
If you’ve been here a while, you might know I’ve written a memoir manuscript. And not just written it: I’ve revised it, sought feedback, revised again, and again, and generally polished it within an inch of its life.
Essentially, the manuscript is done. And the next step is sending it out into the world where it’ll—hopefully—find a nice agent who wants to help me publish it.
It’s not that I’m putting it off. I’m really not!
It’s just that, everywhere I turn, I keep hearing that publishing this thing will be bloody hard.
Sadly, no one is buying memoirs right now
You just don’t have a big enough ‘platform’
Agents will want your Substack to have at least 10k subscribers
You need a lot more bylines…
Getting published seems to involve nested problems. Every time I solve one puzzle, another arrives to take its place.
I believe in my story, I believe in the years I spent crafting this book, and I want to give myself the best chance of success.
I just don’t know when to take my leap of faith!
One thing I learned
This month, I was invited onto my first-ever livestream by none other than the incredible Substack strategist
. I was thrilled to be asked, not just because I adore Sarah and the work she’s doing on Substack, but because I love her live videos. I always learn so much from her advice and that of her guests, so being involved felt like a real milestone for me.Of course, I immediately said yes. But next came the familiar anxiety. Though I wanted to do a good job, my impostor syndrome was setting up a deck chair, rubbing on tanning lotion and settling in for its moment in the sun.
In keeping with this newsletter’s ethos, I did the only thing I could:
Act brave
Turn up
Try anyway
And guess what, it went great and I had a lot of fun!
The best part? Friends and subscribers told me they couldn’t tell I was nervous. Apparently dry mouth, shaking hands, and a bitchy inner critic aren’t obvious over livestream. Here’s my grand debut if you’re interested in Substack branding and want to watch it.
The month in numbers
5 new essay ideas (how do I decide which to submit to journals and which to publish on Substack?)
11 years of marriage celebrated with margaritas and arcade games!
12(ish) moving boxes unpacked (plenty more to go)
3 enjoyable walking routes mapped out in our new neighbourhood
Only 1 dream about sharks (when will this recurring nightmare cease to haunt me?)
The month in photos
At our old Airbnb. Technically, this photo was taken in April, but my husband only just developed the film, so I’m including it.
Stumbling upon a 'Pet Library' on one of our daily walks in our new neighbourhood!
Just me and my household wolf.
My favourite library in Downtown LA, where I used to spend many a weekend perusing the shelves.
Flynn and Suki update
Suki discovered that grilled sweetcorn is delicious and that the more majestic she looks, the more likely she is to receive table scraps. (She gets a lot).
Flynn chased an actual coyote out of our yard. Miraculously, he is unharmed. My nerves are still recovering.
Over to you:
What are you proud of this month?
What are you still attempting?
What have you learned or unlearned?
Oh, and don’t forget to tap the 🩷 button on your way out.
(Unhearted posts are terribly draughty.)
I love the new title! I will likely be rebranding mine now that I know what I want to write about. Happy to talk memoir selling strategies, as I finally sold mine and it’s coming out next year.
It sounds like you’ve put in so much work on this memoir. You’ve got to see it get published!
This month I returned back to writing (including posting on my Substack), which I hadn’t done in almost a year. Ironically, it’s because I’ve been off work due to a chronic illness which has allowed me the headspace to write.